Change

Nine months ago, nearly to do the day, my life fell into a season of change, and it's changing and changing, and changing. Nothing seems to be the same anymore except for one thing, one constant, and that would be, of course, my Savior, Jesus Christ. Always faithful to the end as Cory Asbury might say.

A snapshot of where I have been:

After returning home from a mission trip to Australia, which radically shook my paradigm of God and threw him out of the box, of which I put Him in, one of my dearest friends tragically ended his life. This changed everything for me. After following the calling of the Lord, I ended up moving a couple hours away from Jonesboro and living in now what I call my home, Little Rock.

In the last 6 months of living there I have had a blast, I got a job as server and bartender, I was able to be close to my best friend who is probably the best part of me, and I have become a part of a church that shares the same heart that I have for the world.

But for the last month, my heart has ached, and I have found myself falling into a deep pit of what I thought was unknown despair, yet after much prayer and mentoring I'm realizing it was more of a pit I dug for myself.

There are two things I have seen in my life:

1. I put hope in people not in God

2. I have lived a right life yet have not lived in deep righteousness

1.

I have believed in healing and help for people who did not receive it. I believed people were inherently better than they actually are, and when they fall, I become uncontrollably disappointed.

2.

I granted myself "grace"...I allowed my life to be permissible yet not beneficial for my total life. As Poet Ezekiel would say a right-ish life instead of a righteous life.

So here's where I stand, in a life always changing, yet with eyes directly on my Lord. I can't stop the change, but I can adapt.