Vampire

So, I'm not a morning person. It's not something I am not ashamed of, but it's definitely something I claim to be, but clearly, am not. I am a coffee person. Mornings without coffee bring my frustration and exhaustion to a boiling point.

This morning I arrived at the coffee shop a little early. I thought I would get my work done. I actually thought I was pretty peppy despite the fact I opened our store before God opened day His. Let me preface this story with the fact that I get irritated when I am tired. It's a flaw, but it's definitely something I deal with. I get irritated at people walking slow/coming at all, basically anything. I also don't think clearly and frequently forget I have scones cooking or that I need to open the register before my first customer. Today wasn't out of the ordinary. I was irritated and forgetful.

I went outside for my daily cup of coffee in the fresh air and the sun was so bright! I literally said, " Stupid Sun, you are way brighter than you ever need to be! You need to go behind a cloud!" Yes, if your wondering I did throw a hissy fit over the fact that the sun was bright.

Through that immature spout of emotion this morning, I realized something...

Sometimes I throw a fit over the fact that the Son is to bright for me. Sometimes he is glaring so dead in my eyes that I want to go back to be the way I was, because it's more comfortable.

Today in my mini rampage I forgot to feel the warmth that comes from the sun. I didn't see the beauty. I felt uncomfortable

How often do I miss the beauty and the warmth of the Lord for the sack of my comfortability?

28peaceinthemiddleeast28

The term " Life is Short" is a tad cliche when your talking to people who are living and healthy. I would be one of those people. But no matter how much I hear it, it never ceases to shock me when someone I know passes away, especially when they are young.

Yesterday was a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary occurred. I made coffee for people, took orders at the restaurant, went home, watched the Bachelor, the beginning of the news and went to bed. I woke up this morning to my first customer telling me that a man who frequented our coffee shop was killed in a major car wreck. My heart ached.

You see, had this just been one of our regulars it would have been a different story. But this man had been in our shop for the first time in a while not 4 hours before he crossed the yellow line of the highway and hit a truck head on. This man had a past, that I knew about. And I'm positive that when I saw him, I judged him for his past and not for his future. I wasn't mean, but I wasn't incredibly nice either. I was just doing my job. I guess what I didn't realize was that this was my last moment with him to ever be Christ to him again.

My thought processes came to a screeching halt as began to pour over our last conversation, which was only about 1 min long and included answers such as, "Yes, we have wireless internet here." But that was it, nothing special, but I know my heart, and that's what I will be judged for.

I am forced to see more clearly today. I hope my mistake causes someone to make the right choice before it is too late. Don't be afraid to love. I am not going to live life just acting like this is the last day of my life, I choose to live my life treating others as though it was our last moments together as well. I wish I would have made this choice yesterday.

28peaceinthemiddleeast28

To Africa with Love

I love Africa. When I think of my Continent my heart brims with excitement, and anxiety. I tend to carry the burdens of others without knowing it until later, maybe it's a way of understanding empathy or maybe it's the Lord getting back at me for something I did...haha totally kidding, but either way I do.

As the desire in my heart for Africa grows, Somalia in particular, so the weight became heavier and heavier on my shoulders. How was I going to end the AIDS epidemic, how can I protect the child soldiers, how can I prevent mindless killings, it became overwhelming.

Yesterday, before I walked into work, I was praying over Africa. And I was telling God, why would I or anyone want to help, nothing we do will even make a dent in the devastation of Africa. Then God said clearly, "Emily, your absolutely right." At the risk of sounding arrogant before the Lord, I said, "Of course I was...o wait, about what?" " Emily, there is nothing anyone can do, whether it be you, Bono, Invisible Children, or an entire nation, to change the lives of anyone in Africa. Change, Physical and Spiritual Salvation, and Peace ONLY happens through me."

A bit humbled, I let the Lord speak to me. I let him carry the burden. and have chosen to be like Abraham and ask God to change his mind about Africa and save the Continent for His Glory.

HIS name, and HIS renown are the cries of my heart.

28peace in the middle east28

I was having a conversation with a lovely friend of mine, the other evening. we were on the topic of fear and how fear can almost paralyze us, until we bring reality to the situation.

Here's a few things that came to mind during our talk.
1. For me...Fear mostly occurs at night while everyone but me is asleep.

I don't think this is ironic. It doesn't surprise me that when I'm most vulnerable and can't see in the physical, that I would be vulnerable and not able to see in spiritual realm...

2. Fear takes us to an alternate reality...lets say a "spiritual realm" Eph 6.

I always think of fear as something not from God. And to tell you the truth, I still don't think if God is going to tell you something he's not going to push you to do it out fear. Saying that, I think our flesh can be scared of the Supernatural. I think God uses fear to draw is into the spiritual realm....some of my most amazing quiet times are are at three in the morning when I have been kept awake by fear.

3. It is always the right thing to read the bible and fight and pray against the fear, but if your going to sit and stew in your fear, you must GET UP and focus your mjind on something else.

I know this from experience. I will pray...pray...pray...meditate, focus, sing, and somehow my brain doesn't comprehend that I am TRYING to get the fear off my mind. For me, sometimes it takes...getting up and going to get a cup of coffee, turning all the lights on, watching TV, or waking someone up to bring you back to reality. But...always choose to read the word and pray first.

4. If you are fearful...remember to listen for the Spirit.

Just like when God called Samuel, when we are awakened from our sleep we must listen and see if God is saying something to you.

This is just a few things on my mind the last couple of days...

peace in the middle east

love is...

I'm a tad bit sad this evening as I write. I wish I could make everyone love each other. I wish everyone chose Christ over the world, and I wish I could make Christmas perfect. You know what's interesting? The more I try, the harder it gets.

On a completely other note, I had a conversation with someone this morning about Calvinism. I have always found that when it came to Calvinism or Armenian ism I have always fell nearer the Calvinist side. But we were talking about the "Elect(God's Choice not man's) " and I just can't find in my Spirit a place that finds peace with that theology.

I began to think about the fact that...you have to choose to be a Calvinist, or any other belief system. You have to weigh the Word and figure out what you believe. There is a choice. Life is a choice. God does know the outcome, but he created us in a way that he could bring his wisdom and thoughts to our thoughts, to draw us into a relationship. I just can't be down with the fact that God is a dictator. God is Lover, a bridegroom, all knowing and powerful, but Dictator...I just don't believe that.

Calvinism and Armenian ism are just two beliefs two men came up with. In the end, it's theology, it's not the Word of God. It's two ways of believing not the Word inspired by God himself. I think the only book that's inspired only by God and not any other thing is the Bible. No Flesh...God's word.

Peace in the Middle East.

An ol' Ozzy moment

I woke up this morning and I read My Utmost for His Highest. I had previously read this entry before, probably Dec. 9th, last year. Oswald Chambers said something that hasn't left my thoughts since reading it. He said,

"It is the good that hates the best, and the higher up you get in the scale of the natural virtues, the more intense is the opposition of Christ......Beware of refusing to go the funeral of your own independence."

So in essence it's not my sinful nature that keeps me from the Lord it's the "easiness" of complacency. What's funny is, it's always been easy for me to choose the high road over the world. But I have noticed a change in that as I have gotten older. Lowered standards in an attempt to be accepted. Right now, it's mostly a battle of my mind rarely turning into action. But if I keep up my inaction this situation, I think I will find myself, "of the world".

I guess I'm a blogger.

I was reading through some of my past journal entries recently and decided that it was time for me to get my thoughts on life out in the open. So I started this blog. For me this will be a release from the ridiculousness of life and escape to my own little world of revelations from God or...random thoughts...either way. I hope this can be encouraging to anyone who reads it.