beautiful things out of dust....

Well, here I am again, alone with my thoughts and expectations of life, not fully understanding, but hoping to grasp the full of affect of my calling one day. I have been emotional the last couple of days to say the very least.

I just want to share something that will forever bless my heart. It involves one of the most important people in my life, Carter Coven. I went to a ball game with the Coven family(for Grandpa's B-day), and had a blast. Without a doubt getting to know this wonderful family has been one of the highlights of my life. We were getting ready to leave the park and while walking out I spotted a homeless man, my first reaction was to ask if he needed any food, so I did, and he said he thought he was good for the night, he sent his blessings and we sent ours, and off to the grass we went to throw the ball around. We weren't two minutes into playing when Carter came up to me and said, we have got to get water for that homeless man, we have to. So we did, I took it to him and basically said, " Everyone can always use some more water," we chatted with him and introduced himself and I introduced the boys. We all shook hands and went on our ways. Walking away Carter started jumping and announced that he felt, " SOOO GOOD." He said, "I think this may be what I want to do with my life, help the homeless and maybe stay the night with them some. " I was so proud of his tender heart, and I told him so over and over. When we got into the car, I again I told him how proud of him I was. When I stopped gushing he said, "Emma, I just had to do it. One time I saw a homeless man who was begging, but saying to us God bless you, and I didn't do anything to help him, and I felt like I should have. I made a promise to myself that I would never let that happen again, so I had to do it. " SAKES ALIVE! I was now holding back the ugly cry(thinking that of course might disturb him enough to never do it again ;) ). Out of the mouths of babes.

I kept thinking, that this is the child Matthew would have wanted him to be. Tender-hearted to the point of action. And truthfully, with teary eyes as I type, I'm just sorry he wasn't able to witness it.

I have been listening to a song that has penetrating the core of my being called, "Beautiful Things" By the Gungor Band. The chorus of this song is simple, but true...Speaking of God he sings, "You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of dust, you make beautiful things you make beautiful things out of us." I saw the beauty of God last night watching Carter, I'm so thankful I was able to see God make something beautiful out of dust.

People Pleaser, much?

I was listening to a sermon by John Bevere on being a people more worried about pleasing others than pleasing God. I must say, one of my greatest and worst characteristics is to lift one's spirit through kind words, yet, sometimes I think I do it in order to feed a deep desire for people to be pleased with me and to like me, and to not leave me. He spoke of things that devastated my desire for self elevation, such as, whomever your source is, is whom you will serve. And it is that source that you will try not to offend. So if you're connected to God and he is your source then you work to please him and not offend him with your lifestyle...in the same manor if man is your source you work to please and not offend man...which is more important? I know the right answer and my answer...sadly, they don't line up, though I'm getting them in line.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"So...are you really okay?"

I have been hearing that a lot recently, and I think it's odd, because I have truly not been as good as I am right now, in a long time...as it goes for happiness level.

So for the last couple months I have been seeking what I should do next and it's a tad daunting to think of...actually really daunting, but I was reading a book by Shane Claiborne that really spoke to the depth of my heart yesterday and changed my heart motive of prayer for my future. The book was speaking about vision and how the greatest leaders have vision that will positively affect the people with whom they lead...they can see positive change for the world and then live it out. A truly powerful concept. As I was chewing on that, I began to ask myself what my vision is and I couldn't answer. You see, I have been praying for what will effect my next season, or what job to take, or where to live, but I think I was missing it. I believe God is saying, "Emma, find your vision and align your future in that."

The Lord is good and His mercy endures forever. The Lord is good.